We're Still Here

Bubeaner was extremely fussy today and cried most of the day too.  But the demoralizing part was that once again there was blood in his diaper after more than a week of nothing.  We were so hopeful that the diet was working.  We are considering that maybe formula might be better for him.  It's discouraging.  But we will wait to see Dr. Z for his 6 month check-up on Friday before making any decisions.

One of the few moments of peace & quiet today.

He's holding his lovey!  Cute!

But this was the more common sight today.

(This was taken a few minutes after the one above.)

On a positive note, yesterday we visited the DMA for the King Tut exhibit with Aunt Pau.  Quite an enjoyable experience & John behaved so well!  Well, he slept through it, but that has to count too. 

Little Bubeaner King

Happy Easter!

We were blessed with a beautiful, wet (desert people understand this) and cloudy Easter morning. 

Bubeaner, dressed up, at Aunt Pau's 

before going out for Easter brunch. 

We were up and ready for the 730 mass without a problem.  And Bubeaner looked adorable in his little Easter outfit.  The church was a just a little more full than normal, but we were still able to sit on our bench.  Bubeaner was even awake for most of the service. YAY!  And he got a blessing during communion.  We love being able to share our faith through these holy days with Bubeaner.  We currently read books about the saints and the order of the mass but have not found a good children's Bible.  I have such great memories of reading it with his Aunt Lari when she was little.  Our night time prayer routine was cute too; she had to give thanks and pray for every person AND thing in her life individually.  It was good but just made for a long, long prayer.  I can't wait to share that with Bubeaner.

Don't my boys look adorable?

He did so well during mass today that we will attempt to actually sit in the sanctuary next Sunday.  Let's hope we don't have a repeat of mass on Thursday when he decided to exercise his very healthy lungs.  In his defense, the mass lasted almost 3 hours.

Bubeaner and Aunt Pau

Bluebonnets

Today Bubeaner had an impromptu photo shoot.  We found a field of bluebonnets off a secluded side street (not a major highway) in Las Colinas.

New BFF

John's future BFF, Anton, was born yesterday in Austin.  Although Anton did decide to give the parents a little scare right at birth, we are so thrilled that both mom and baby are doing well.  And hopefully Anton and John won't get into as much trouble as their fathers did in college.

His legs are too short to reach the floor 

even at the lowest setting.

I do not approve of the sideways hats, 

but it was getting in his way.

 

And I have to admit that he looks pretty cute

Growing and Growing

Oh, the peace and quiet of a clean home and a sleeping child!

Bubeaner is really taking to the new schedule.  And, much to our delight, he continues to sleep through the night.  We are also getting better at not checking on him too often.  

Doesn't he look adorable?

Today was a little more trying so he was ready for the pre-bed cuddling time.  He got his blood drawn for some lab work.  I know it was my imagination, but the needle looked HUGE.  And do they really need to take that much blood?  It was almost a full vial!  However, I am grateful that the phlebotomist was amazing.  She was in and out faster than it took me to get him out of the stroller.  And as a consolation prize (since I can't offer ice cream or chocolate), we visited the NICU.  The nurses loved seeing John again, and John enjoyed cuddling with his favorite nurse, Tammie.

Last weekend we bought John a jumperoo.  He now loves sitting up and reaching for things.  The trick was finding one in which he would fit without falling out.  This is a common problem we are encountering.  He is developmentally closer to his chronological age, but he is still closer to his adjusted age in physical stature (i.e. he is little).  He absolutely loves it!  At first he just sat there not knowing what to do.  But after one day, he got the hang of it.  John appears to especially like the new toys at his reach.  An interesting development from it, is that he now splashes even more during bath times.  

"Not sure what I am supposed to do.  

I will just look innocent."

Getting the hang of it.

(I think he looks like me in this one.)

"Mmm, I wonder how this little thing would taste?"

And Monday evening, John turned Aunt Pau to putty; he actually reached for her when she went to pick him up.  It was not a fluke because he did the same thing to me yesterday morning!  Isn't it amazing how "little" things just melt your heart?

Uncle Gary and Aunt AA visited on Sunday.  It had been a while since they'd had their Bubeaner fix due to the DC and ELP trips.  John enjoyed showing off for them and then proceeded to take a nap on Aunt AA.  They also brought John a very special gift following family tradition: a silver cup (for our little prince) from, of course, Haltom's.

Not sure if you can see the engraving

Cuddling with Aunt AA

Chillin' with Uncle Gary

P.S. And thankfully other than a little sore hip, there are no other consequences from my fall yesterday.  WooHoo!

Comedy of Errors

Some days you just shouldn't get out of bed....

We had our appointment with Dr. O, the GI doctor, in FW.  John's feeding time was at the same time as his appointment (he woke up later this morning thus having a later feeding time than normal).  Instead of feeding him too early at home, I chose to wait until we arrived at the doctor's office; we are usually 20-30 minutes early to our appointments and just end up waiting.  Wouldn't you know there was snail-paced traffic today!?!  

We were late; John did not eat prior to meeting Dr. O.

Monkey See, Monkey Do

Another naked John waiting for the doctor.

We liked Dr. O.  He also believes it is a protein allergy "until proven otherwise".  He prefers to stick with breast feeding.  The pediatrician previously indicated that it really didn't matter if dairy/soy were part of the ingredients list (i.e. bread, tortillas, etc).  Dr. O said that ANY trace amounts of dairy or soy in food can continue to irritate John's system since he's already developed a sensitivity to it.  This would explain the continued issue even after I eliminated the dairy and soy from my diet (milk, cheese, cream, etc.).  He wants me to try this EXTREME (my words) diet for 2 weeks.  Without an irritant, John's system should be fine by then.  Man, I am going to miss my bread and tortillas.  But let's hope that this works.

Dr. O also tweaked John's reflux medication.  His reflux had been improving until we put him back on the multi-vitamin.  Dr. O ordered some blood work to check his iron levels among other things.

Bubeaner attacking his blanket.

He was hungry!

We spent the afternoon cuddling making up for the doctor's visit and the eating late.  I decided to venture outside with John to pick up the mail before his next feeding.  And as I reached down to pick up  a piece of mail and fought off the nosy dogs, I lost my balance and fell backwards.  Priority one: DO NOT LET JOHN HIT ANYTHING!  Priority two: try not to brake any bones.  I actually did a pretty good roll.  But unfortunately not good enough to eliminate all pain.  Hopefully it's not anything that ibuprofen won't cure.  

Thankfully, John and the dogs thought it was a game and were none the worse for wear. 

Love at First Sight

 A wordy show & tell:

A year ago today we fell in love.  It was the first time we saw a picture of our Bubeaner: a true miracle that left us speechless.  I would not classify infertility as an easy road.  It was not the road we would have chosen for ourselves.  But through this long and sometimes quite painful journey, we have been blessed to be witnesses to life's miracles in a new way, to truly value the amazing miracle of conception and birth that may have otherwise been lost to us, and to learn that there is such a thing as love at first sight.  

John and two of his little siblings 

(whom we shall meet in heaven one day) 

Day 3 after conception...

My parents used to tell me that in order to truly value and cherish 

something you must earn it. I would never presume that we have 

"earned" our right to be parents or are more worthy than others; 

I still believe that is a gift. But I sometimes do wonder how different 

our perspective would be today were it not for infertility. Regardless, 

we are grateful for the gift of hope and renewed appreciation of life.  

And we are grateful for the stumbles, tears, losses, and pain... 

because in the end they brought us to where we are today. And as we 

watch our precious little Bubeaner sleep, play, smile, and grow, 

we give thanks and praise.

Day 368 after conception...

TRULY AMAZING!

A Fruitful Friday

Today was a good day to clean and organize.  And other than some paperwork, the house looks great.  The only problem is that in order to get so much done John spent a lot of time in his bassinet and swing.  Poor tyke probably felt ignored!  We did spend the late afternoon cuddling, singing and talking in order to make up for it.

Aunt Pau and Daddy came in just as we were singing.  John obviously can't "sing" but he will make sounds when he recognizes some of the songs.  Some of them he's been hearing since he was in the womb.

And for the first time, John was caught on tape talking.  He talked for about 6 minutes straight AND the camera was within reach!  Aunt Pau and Daddy were able to watch and listen to our little talker.  

A grumpy and unhappy baby.

(He shall NOT be ignored!)

The wonder of children's programming!

(Don't worry, he only watched for a few minutes)

Doctors and More Doctors

We spent a busy day at the doctors' with the boys.  Matt had his epidural steroid shot today.  He was actually feeling really well right after because of the local anesthetic used.  Unfortunately, as the doctor warned, he is pretty sore right now.  But we are hopeful we will see results in a couple of weeks when Matt will start his physical therapy.

At the same time this morning, John saw his cardiologist, Dr. H.  It appears that he does not have a PDA, but a PFO.  As I understand it, the difference is that with the first one the whole is between the arteries where in the PFO it is between the atrium cavities.  Dr. H does not appear concerned.  She expects for it to close on it's own by John's first birthday.  She was actually more intrigued by my brother's death.  But so far everyone has reassured us that it's quite unlikely that John would have the same problem.

Uncle Jeff was sweet enough to bring AND prepare dinner for us tonight.  He was also able to help with John's bath time.  And John showed off his new tricks for him.  

John was in bed and asleep by 8 tonight.  We have been working on changing his feeding routine in order to allow for an earlier bedtime.  For some reason, I thought it would be better to delay his 6 pm feeding until 730 pm.  Yeah, that was not the wisest decision I

 have made.  He screamed his displeasure both nights.  Then I had a moment of clarity.  We are going to keep his 6 pm feeding time and then "top him off" at 730-8 pm.  DUH!  We will see how he does with this new routine.

Waiting for the doctor....

Still waiting....  

Poor little John only had a diaper, blanket & lovey to keep warm.

The AC was on and quite cold.

Naked John now weighs a hefty 12 lbs (5.48 kgs) compared to his 3 lbs 13 oz (1700+ gms) from birth.  He now spends 15 minutes a day in his bumbo as well as his normal tummy time.  John has definitely gotten the hang of grabbing and swatting at things.

An absolutely adorable John not pleased with Mommy.

Before I forget, we have rescheduled John's baptism for May 9th.  We are pretty excited.  Originally, I was going to get the baptism gown made from my wedding dress, but I don't believe that will end up happening.  So, off to look for an outfit.

Prayer Request

Please send a prayer up for a family friend Rachell and the precious little baby in her womb.  At yesterday's MD appointment, the baby's heart rate was really low at 89 bpm when it should be above 105 bpm.  She goes back to the doctor next week.  We know the power of prayer.  Please remember them in your prayers this week.

Another busy day.  John slept until 7am this morning!  We had been waiting until John was sleeping through the night regularly before we moved up his bedtime.  We knew eventually he was going to have to go to sleep earlier than his current bedtime of 9 pm.  However, John did not wait for us.  For the last few days, he has been getting fussy and really sleepy by 730p.  We know it would probably mean more sleep for us as well as more alone time.  But it's also sad because Matt won't get that much time with Bubeaner.  So, we have decided that mornings will be their special bonding time.  This is an added benefit to me since I am most definitely NOT a morning person unlike the boys in the family.

Matt is doing better.  The inflammation appears to have subsided enough to at least allow him to walk a little better.  The pain is still pretty bad on his back especially after a long day at the office.  We are hopeful that the medication continues to help.

John gardening with mom and playing with his lovey.

This was at the end; he was tired.

We continue to miss our Bevo.  But I have to admit that it's been nice not worrying about when he will start howling again.  I notice I cringe in "expectation" as soon as I hear the trash pick up, the mowers, and even the kids playing outside.  Today I was able to work on the front garden, even planting a rose bush. (YAY!)  Sandy was on a long leash tied to the car and John was in his bouncy out of the wind and under multiple blankets.  Several neighbors were able to come by and talk.  Usually that is not possible because Bevo will not allow anyone to get close without sounding the alarm.

John playing with his friends.

He has long conversations that usually end with him trying to eat them.

YIKES!

How did almost a week go by without a blog entry?  Time is in warp speed at home.  My boys are keeping the entire household busy, busy, busy. 

John has been sleeping every night since Wednesday until 530am or 6am!  YAY!  We are still not reaping the benefits because we continue to wake up and check on him throughout the night.  The surgeon, Dr. B., declared that John's fissure was healed.  Unfortunately, John continues to have occasional blood in his stool.  And since yesterday, he has been pretty fussy; it appears to be a GI problem since his reflux/throwing up has returned... maybe something I ate?  We don't have to go back to see Dr. B. since we are seeing Dr. S., a gastroenterologist, within the same Cook's group next week.

Mmm, yummy

Our Bubeaner is not letting any issues slow him down.  He now prefers to sit rather than recline.  He looks quite adorable trying to sit up.  And it appears that he is now enjoying tummy time... well at least not disliking it as much.  There are times when the session does not end with him screaming and crying.  

Hey, what happened to my cartoons!

His new trick is to grab his blanket or lovey and pull it over his head and down.  It's not peek-a-boo, but it's cute.  He also tries to put everything in his mouth.  Today, he grabbed his paci and placed it his mouth!  Granted it took him about 5 minutes and multiple attempts (he had trouble with the grasping and holding), but it was amazing to see him doing it.  

Look at what I can do!

John is also playing more during bath time.  We had to get a caddy to hold the increasing number of toys.  He enjoys pushing them with his feet.

Splish! Splash!

We heard back on Thursday regarding Matt's MRI report.  Unfortunately, our PCP was correct; it's a herniated disk that is impinging on a nerve.  That explains the leg pain and limp.  He had an appointment today at a spine clinic.  The doctors are not recommending surgery at this time.  But he will be getting a steroid epidural shot to the affected area to reduce the swelling and inflammation.  After that is under control, he will start a round of physical therapy.  But it appears that this will not go away.  

Squeezable cheeks!

As to the other male in our family, Bevo started puppy boot camp on Saturday.  Matt and I had discussed enrolling him often, but hesitated.  He was immediately enrolled when he destroyed two expensive window coverings this past weekend.  Bevo is a loving and adorable dog.  He is actually quite well behaved... as long as he does not believe someone or something is invading his territory.  He does not bite; he just howls his head off.  We spoke with his trainer today and Bevo is making great strides in the howling department.  We are so, so hopeful that this help.  It would be nice for others to see his good side and gentle nature.  

Hey, this isn't the way to the vet or the pet store.

Bevo sensing something was not "right".

My Boys

WooHoo, Bubeaner!  John slept until 530 am!!!  He fussed a little here and there throughout the night, but mainly slept.  And he woke up in a good mood smiling and cooing even though I am sure he must have been starving.  The only problem is that he has been fussy ever since.  It could be because his schedule is off.  We'll see how the rest of the morning turns out.

This morning, at 630 am Matt had his MRI.  The tech would not hint as to the probable diagnosis, but made sure to say  Matt needed to be very, very careful moving around.  So, we now awaiting the call from the doctor.  We still hope that it's not that bad.  

Better Tuesday

John is coughing less today.  WooHoo!  He is almost back to his normal napping routing also; he had been sleeping a lot more the last few days.  Right now he is "conversing" with President Obama.  He was particularly vocal when the matter of taxes was brought up.  

We forgot to mention that the ID doctor still heard his murmur yesterday.  John's cardiologist appointment is not until next week.  It is not something to worry about yet, but we were hopeful that the PDA had resolved by now.  John has another doctor's appointment this week, a surgical follow up.

Matt is doing better.  At least he is not walking like he is 109 years old... just 90.  The pain is still pretty bad.  So, he is scheduled for an MRI tomorrow morning.  Hopefully, it won't be as bad as the doctor expects.

If you could, please send up a little prayer for a little boy, Stellan, that really needs all of our prayers right now.

Manic Monday

We did not start this week on the right foot.  Sunday we finally tackled the front yard after ignoring it for almost a year due to bed rest and the Bubeaner's birth.  It is starting to look good again.  Unfortunately Matt hurt his back lifting Bevo, our wild dog, after he got tangled in one of the bushes.  After a painful and restless night, the doctor believes it might be a herniated disk in his lower back.  He is still in a lot of pain, but hopefully he will feel better tomorrow.

John is still improving but continues with the cough.  We took him to an infectious diseases doctor (another doctor added to the list) today for his RSV vaccine.  Dr. G. was quite wonderful and thorough in her examination of John and his record.  Much to our dismay we found out that our previous pediatrician had not given John ANY RSV vaccines as he had assured us he would in the NICU!!!  I am angry with myself for not catching that earlier, but definitely reassured that we made the correct decision switching doctors.  

Daddy and Bubeaner at the home & garden store.

Our little Bubeaner is a little cranky this evening probably from the vaccine.  But that has not stopped him from playing with his feet.  Yes, he has found his feet.  John is still not sure what to make of them but he does spend quite a bit of time staring and them while flexing and moving them.  John's favorite game is to touch the opposite side of the tub with his feet; the splash is an added bonus.  He is also getting better at grabbing things and, of course, putting them in his mouth.  He is also doing quite well with his tummy time.  Our baby boy is growing so fast.

Bubeaner's answer to the Mommy paparazzi.

Also on a good note, John has reacted much better to the multi-vitamin this time around.  He is a little more likely to throw up after his dose in the mornings, but doing pretty well overall.  In fact, his reflux is doing pretty well too.  There are times when he doesn't even sport a bib now!  This would have been unthinkable a few weeks ago.

A styling John carried by Aunt Pau.

Now for Show & Tell: Blessings.  Today I ordered John's "NICU Graduate" onesie for our March for Babies walk.  He will look so cute in it!  We are pretty excited.  I had participated in years past, but it is much different this time.  Their work is not about statistics anymore.  Their work has a name and a face very dear to us: our Bubeaner.  Matt and I feel extremely blessed that John will wear this onesie because, sadly, not all babies graduate.  If you have a moment, please remember the NICU babies and families in your prayers.

John's NICU graduate onesie.

Mommy and John registering for the march online.

March for Babies 2009 - Our First Walk Together

Matt and I prayed and hoped for a child for many years.  Our prayers were answered 04/09/08 when we found out we were pregnant.  We rejoiced in every aspect of our pregnancy.  Much to our surprise, we met John 10 weeks earlier than expected.

We counted the number of John's doctor's: 7 (neonatologist, pediatrician, cardiologist, gastroenterologist, pulmonologist, sugeon, and ophthalmologist).  John is 5 months old and has 7 doctors!  And he is one of the lucky ones because other than being little, he is healthy and thriving.  Many more are not so lucky.

You supported us through the pregnancy and John's early arrival through prayer and encouragement.  We now humbly ask if you would sponsor John and I as we take part in our first March for Babies on April 18th.

The 5-mile walk is sponsored by the March of Dimes.  The money we raise will support research and programs that help moms have full-term pregnancies and babies begin healthy lives and to provide comfort and information to families, like us, whose baby was born too soon or sick.

Please help us make a difference.

Thank you,

Ruth and John

Sick Bubeaner Update

John had a great night.  He slept soundly until 430 am when he ate and went back to sleep until 730 am.  John appears to be doing much better today even though he is still coughing a bit.  John is still not up to his usual perky self but getting there.  If only his parents bounced back so easily. 

John and Daddy napping.

Sick Bubeaner

Our poor little Bubeaner is sick.  He sneezed on and off for a while last week, but on Wednesday he started coughing and has progressively coughed more since then.  Thankfully, it is a dry cough and he does not have a fever.  So it appears that he caught our cold.

He had a nice relaxing bath with baby vapor bath stuff followed by a rub down with baby vapor rub and a little Tylenol.  The hardest part was doing the saline solution drops and clearing out his nose.  He screamed his little head off in anger.  But we believe he is feeling better now as he is sleeping soundly in his bassinet.

Yes, he continues to sleep in his bassinet.  He refuses to even take naps on his bouncer.

We are also using the UV humidifier in the room.  Matt complained that it feels like Houston.  As I am also feeling unwell, it feels great to me.  We are hopeful that John will come out of this soon and with no further complications.

Big Boy Bubeaner

For months John refused to sleep in his bassinet.  A few weeks ago he allowed us to place him in it for a few minutes at a time, but still no sleeping.  Yet last night John refused to be placed in his swing.  He fussed even while I held him.  

Yet, lo and behold, I placed him in the bassinet and he fell asleep immediately!  John slept in his bassinet all night long even after his night feeding.  He did not even want to be held after his morning feeding.  

Bubeaner and his turtle

And I was just holding him a minute ago and he fussed until I placed him in the bassinet.  He is currently cooing and playing quietly.  He is growing up way too fast.  Does anyone know where I can find the "pause" button?

Mad Bubeaner on our way home to the airport.

Unfortunately, John started coughing yesterday.  It is not a lot, but the cough does not sound good.  We are hopeful that it's not anything major.

Long Catch-Up Entry part II

Tuesday we took another sample to the pediatrician's office, and it tested positive for blood again.  Our pediatrician was not in the office, so his partner recommended we change John's formula (one used for infants with a protein allergy)...  and stop breastfeeding!  It was extremely hard not to breakdown and cry in the office (the lobby since I didn't go into a room) .  It was hard to get my milk supply going while John was in the NICU.  And I had worked hard to adhere to the lactose/dairy-free diet and I was still harming him.  ARG!

After much discussion and deliberation, a week ago we made an appointment to transfer to a new pediatrician.  Thankfully, we had our first appointment today.  We feel comfortable with our choice.  Dr. Z was extremely thorough in her examination.  I was pretty impressed that she had read all the paperwork we brought with us and listened carefully to what we said.  Dr. Z had even read the HIPAA forms!  She believes it may be a dietary issue AND a fissure (after she finished her examination).  She explained that soy may also cause an allergy;  I had recently started drinking soy milk since I couldn't drink regular milk!  No one had told me to avoid soy.

Dr. Z recommended we continue breastfeeding since John benefited from it but continue to use the new formula when needed.  We will make an appointment with a GI doctor just for peace of mind.  She also put us back on Poly-Vi-Sol (the multivitamin) in order to protect John from an iron deficiency.  We will give John the daily dose in small portions before several meals to avoid any reflux problems.  All in all, we left reassured and confident with our new pediatrician.

Somehow we failed to mention that yesterday John turned 5-months old!  He is so adorable and is doing great.  He now weighs 11 lbs 12 oz!  He is in the 30th percentile for weight and length adjusted for his prematurity.  But, he is in the 80th for his head!  It helped explain why he was having trouble holding his head up on his own.  

John holding his bottle!

He has now found both hands and both thumbs.  However, John still prefers his pacifier.  Yesterday, he found and grabbed his foot for the first time.  He has also reached out to grab my fingers multiple times!!!

Enjoying his right thumb...

... and now his left thumb.

 And Monday night John slept for 8 long, wonderful hours!!!  He was back to his normal one-feeding-at-night routine yesterday.  But it means that he is getting ready to sleep through the night.  John does something new almost every day!

Lari enjoying the thrills of  being an aunt.

John also talks his head off.  He will conduct a conversation with anyone and anything that catches his eye.  If everyone is talking, John will not hesitate to make his voice heard.  He is so "talkative" already that I am worried about how much he will talk when he learns to speak.

Chillin' at the hotel in DC.